Who are you thinking of?

We are blessed with a wonderful community of believers at St Columba’s, all with different backgrounds and experiences but united by a love for Christ. Occasionally, a member in our congregation offers to share an experience they’ve had or a lesson that God has been teaching them. This week, one of our members tells us about their experience of one of the toughest challenges we all face: thinking about ourselves less.

At first, I thought that running up Edinburgh's hilly roads was the toughest exercise I would face, until I encountered an even tougher challenge: thinking of myself less.

Have you ever mentally recorded the number of times during any day when all that you are concerned about is you? The result for me was that I was conscious about people’s opinion almost 99% of the time! This is true whether it is my interactions with those I am connected to (family, friends or colleagues) or even with passers-by (while checking out at a store, ordering a coffee or entering a bus). I placed myself at the centre of every thought, deed and desire even when I was supposedly doing good.

So I took up the challenge of spending less time thinking about me. Can I truly love people around me and selflessly meet their needs? Can I really be selfless as I serve at my church? How breathless, exhausting and impossible it felt!

As with any exercise, the more you practice the more tolerance you build. The more it aches the better you get. But what does the exercise of becoming selfless look like practically? For me it included: loving people who do not appeal to me, doing good to individuals that wrong me, being there for those who exploit me, making the time to help those in need, listening to a prolonged rant from a friend after a long exhausting day, and increasing my giving to the church beyond my comfort (just to name a few).

Yet removing ourselves from the centre of every thought or deed suggests the need for something or someone else to replace our focus. Who could be a better replacement than the only perfect human that ever lived? We can hardly comprehend what it meant for Jesus Christ, not to think of himself as he prayed in Gethsemane or was nailed on the cross. He did not seek revenge on those who hurt, denied or humiliated Him. He was not stopped by the pain of His body and heart. Through the ultimate sacrifice His only concern was us; the people by whom and for whom He died.