Our church family at St Columba’s includes people with different backgrounds and experiences, but we are united with a love for Christ. For that reason, there are an abundance of stories we could tell of God working in our lives. Here, one of our members shares their experience of learning to trust that God is working even when it feels like life is not going to plan.
An Earthly Eclipse
God continuously tells us not to worry. He has a much better plan than the one we have carefully thought through, woven, and imagined for ourselves. Yet we often forget. This time, God spent a whole year trying to remind me. When I moved to Edinburgh to start my new job, I was convinced that God had great plans ahead. I thought I was good at my job and ready for whatever challenges that lay ahead. Now as I was given the opportunity, little did I truly know myself. For a whole year, I faced only failure in whatever I did at work; from major tasks to simple ones, which I was told “no one has failed before”! Life outside work and relationships were also difficult. My thoughts crept in - ‘why is God hiding?’.
Hardships often make us think that God is asleep. This is far from being true. God works through our difficulties and in our helplessness. As God reveals His will to us, He permits that we go through layers of hardships or uncertainties. As we unfold His blessings, we are assured that it is His hands at work and not just our competence. Both failure and success can fool our hearts and deceive us to believe we are mini-gods. Unlike the one true God, our mini-gods are incapable and lead us to become anxious and proud.
Whether Christians or not, if we think that we merit all that we have, then we have forgotten the circumstances that we could not control. As Christians, we believe that all circumstances are in God’s hands. What we possess we have received from Him. God’s plan for us goes far beyond a change of circumstances. He digs deeper into our hearts so that we are less like ourselves and more like His Son. At the last hour, when I ran out of options and my job was at stake, God finally came through for me. His timing was undoubtedly perfect. It took God a whole year to show me that He is capable, knowledgeable and loving far beyond I can ever imagine. He does not depend on my strengths but works through my weaknesses.
As I am reminded of how God eventually intervened for me, I ask myself: until when do I forget His goodness and constantly worry about the future? Until when do I take all the credit for my successes or failures? And until when is His grace not sufficient for me? Each day I have to battle with these thoughts or else my heart becomes anxious and proud again.
“Lord, you establish peace for us; all that we have accomplished you have done for us.” Isaiah 26:12 (NIV)